I'd like to share an excerpt from a book I'm reading titled, "Plan B:  What do you do when God Doesn't Show Up the Way You Thought He Would?  The author, Pete Wilson, quotes this verse, (Begin quote) - "Two people are better than one, because they get more done by working together.  If one falls down, the other can help him up.  But it is bad for the person who is alone and falls, because no one is there to help.  If two lie down together, they will be warm, but a person alone will not be warm.  An enemy might defeat one person, but two people together can defend themselves; a rope that is woven of three strings is hard to break." Eccles. 4:9-12.

Pete goes on to say, "In the midst of our Plan B we desperately need a community pledged to build each other up and to watch out for each other's good....Having personally watched hundreds of people go through Plan Bs, I would say one of the single most important factors in whether we lean on God or not is the group of people we have around us.  Separated from community, we tend to think the worst.  Separated from community, we tend to tilt toward hopelessness.  And while authentic community doesn't take away the pain in the midst of a Plan B, it certainly helps reframe the pain.

The only thing worse than disappointment is disappointment without a community.  It's disappointment with a community that can help guide you toward a hope anchored in our God.

Philip Yancey says that "God's presence often comes as a by-product of other people's presence."  I've personally experienced many moments in the midst of Plan Bs where God's presence was most evident by the community he had placed around me.  However, the benefits of this community always came after I took the risk of opening up my life to others.  It's really your choice.  You can continue to try to mask the pain.  You can grow bitter and lonely, feeling as if you're all alone in the midst of your Plan B.  Or you can open your eyes as Naomi eventually did. (Read the book of Ruth to find out how!)  Begin to trust and believe that maybe, just maybe, there is someone in your life who can and will speak those healing words, "me too." - (End quote) 

I read these words in this book a day after I wrote my last post; Save The Drama.  I could not believe how timly this was.  I had forgotten about this verse in Ecclesiastes, though I've read it and heard it preached a "million" times.  I received many comments on my last post so I hope that all of you who were/are feeling simliar to me will be encouraged by this post. 

Let me just say, I feel the knot in your stomach. :)  To take the "risk of opening up my life to others" is truly huge.  When you've been hurt and abused by people who are suppose to love you most, it's an even bigger risk.  However, the necessity to take the risk is even greater.  Unfortunately, there have been times when I've given in to my human nature to withdraw from relationships when I've been hurt.  Sometimes, I think it is wise to take a step back from a relationship to reflect and refocus when an offense has happened but it can't be to the point where I withdraw from every relationship and become an "island".  I agree with the author when he says that when we separate from community we tend to think the worst and "tilt towards hopelessness".  I have not only experienced this in my own life but have seen it over and over in the lives of people around me.  It's sad really.  I see their potential and their worth but they are very blind to it.  But that's just the point.  It's easier to see someone else's potential and worth but can be very difficult to see our own. 

I have also experienced people who feel like they only need the Bible.  I have never really been of this mindset.  I don't know if it's partly because of my personality or what but I have witnessed people who feel they don't need community and from a distance it would seem that they are doing well with that.  They are always sharing scripture verses of encouragment and talking positively.  So, I have to ask the question; why did God feel it important to put Eccelesiates 4:9-12 as well as many other scripture verses pertaining to community and fellowship, in the Bible if all we need is the Bible?  The problem I see with this mindset after reading Eccelesiates 4:9-12 is that the behavior that comes from this mindset is in direct opposition. These people keep everyone at a distance so you won't see their pain and what they are really going through.  I also think it's a way for them not to have to see their pain.  It's a form of masking their pain and even disconnecting from their emotions and becoming emotionless.  Have you ever noticed how you feel when you are talking with someone like this?  I have.  I feel very little to nothing from them emotionally.  Their words never reach my heart. 

After reading this portion of this book, I am very motivated and encouraged.  I want to be in healthy community.  I want people around me who are willing to look at my pain with me and not mask it.  That does mean I have to take that risk and open my life to them.  I think I can do that...slowly and with purpose.