Real Grace

Life has been so busy and thrown me some curve balls lately.  The busyness has been good.  My sister and her family were visiting for a week.  We had a wonderful time.  Just before they came down (the day before) I had to attend the funeral of my brother in law.  He was only 46 and his death was completely unexpected.

I’m feeling much better today but was not quite myself while my sister was here.  I feel bad on one hand because they and I had been so looking forward to this visit.  We had it planned for months.  On the other hand, they completely understood and were so gracious the entire week.  I’m grateful to be able to be who I am around others now.  I’m still learning how to do this.  I tend to fall back into old habits and try to perform the way I think they expect me to.  I found myself in that battle at times while my sister was here but I didn’t give in like I use to.

During my counseling session on Saturday I was able to share all of my feelings surrounding my brother in laws death and how it had been affecting me while my sister was here.  After we processed through it all my counselor asked me, “So, what do you and your husband have planned for fun this weekend?”.  She caught me off guard a little.  I was not expecting a question like that at all.  After taking a moment to think about the question I completely relaxed, smiled and agreed that we need to have some fun.  One of the things we did, since it was 95 degrees here, was wash the car and then have a water fight with the kids.  My daughter said, “This is the best day ever”.  I often forget how little it takes, sometimes, for kids to feel so happy.  It was a good reminder for me to just keep things simple.

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