Real Grace

I just finished reading an article of an interview one year ago with Tony Snow, who recently passed away.  It was published by Christianity Today magazine. It is very powerful.  You can read the full interview here; but there is one paragraph I’d like to highlight.

He was speaking of how those dealing with a fatal disease “find ourselves in the odd position of coping with our mortality while trying to fathom God’s will.  Although it would be the height of presumption to declare with confidence What It All Means, Scripture provides powerful hints and consolations.”  The paragraph I’d like to highlight follows:

“Third, we can open our eyes and hearts. God relishes surprise. We want lives of simple, predictable ease—smooth, even trails as far as the eye can see—but God likes to go off-road. He provokes us with twists and turns. He places us in predicaments that seem to defy our endurance and comprehension—and yet don’t. By his love and grace, we persevere. The challenges that make our hearts leap and stomachs churn invariably strengthen our faith and grant measures of wisdom and joy we would not experience otherwise.”

I love “God likes to go off-road”!  God loves surprises.  I’m finding that this is such a big part of my personality that’s just recently submerged since dealing with the wounds of my past.  I instantly connected with this paragraph and it shocked me a little because there is another side of me that very much likes the “smooth, easy, predictable trails”.  That’s very safe for me but the more I heal, the more “adventurous” side of me I see.  It’s always been there, I’m just finally starting to really appreciate it and feel the freedom in it.

My family and I are getting ready for a big move to Maryland.  We’ve been preparing now for 9 months.  Right from the start there has been this almost “school girl”, makes my heart leap kind of feeling about this move.  Like it is a great adventure and I’m not afraid to move forward in this direction.  However, there have been many times over the last 9 months that I’ve been anxious, frustrated, and stressed because I’m not in control of some of the details and things that need to fall into place before we can actually move.  I feel like I need to know more of the plan in order to plan.  However, in reality, I don’t.  God knows the plan.  I need to realize more of His love and grace in this situation and cling to that!

This has been a huge lesson in letting go of control.  I feel that is a theme throughout Tony Snow’s interview.  When you have a terminal illness, you’re not in control of it.  It is what it is.  I feel it would serve me well to realize that about this move to Maryland.  It is what it is.  I’m not in control and God is taking me off-road!